knots in my tummy, but its ok.

I have knots in my tummy thinking about the changes that are going to occur in just a couple short months. Change always makes me super nervous. Everything in our lives has always just fallen together and I have to keep telling myself that this will too. Although I'm nervous, I'm also excited. John going to school is such a important step. John and I both want to better ourselves so that our children can reap the benefits down the road. I think John is going to do very well in college. He is amazingly smart and I think he is a lot more motivated these days than he was in high school. I think going to school is going to be good for him. He will finally feel like he is working towards a goal where he can see the end and know what rewards are waiting for him when he finishes. We all feel better when we feel like we have a purpose and we are working hard for something that will pay off in the end. Getting a job is going to be good for me as well. I am hoping it will give me an opportunity to re-discover who I am, on my own, without my children attached to my hip. I enjoy straight forward, hard work, with fairly instant gratification. I think I will definitely find that at my job. I'm thinking of applying for waitressing. I think I would be good at it. I have a fairly charming personality and I don't mind running around and working hard when I know it is going to pay off at the end of the day. I also think the hours would work well with my lifestyle as a wife and a mom. Anyway enough about the future. Right now my job is to watch these boys and they are wanting my attention.